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1.
i know i said i'd stop being fucked up all the time but look, i'm already drunk tonight i know i promised within one year i'd be fine but what's the harm in just one more night another day i can't remember what i wanted to forget i swear i'll change i really think that this time i can handle it twelve years of age i'm popping pills and praying i don't see the sun the vomit stains so hold your head up, don't you dare tell anyone (we don't wanna hear you say it) bite your tongue and make it go away and if it bleeds, well, you'll be thanking me one day i know i said i'd stop being fucked up all the time but look, i'm already drunk tonight i know i promised within one year i'd be fine but what's the harm in just one more night another day i've spent ten years telling myself i'll work it out well, act your age don't you think you should have outgrown this by now (have they drugged it out of you yet) serves you right for trying anyway 'cause let's be honest, do you really think you'll change i act like i'm so fucking special just because i hate myself and i talk a big game but i'm just a little kid i'm gonna show the world exactly how revolting i can get 'cause baby, this is all i've ever been i know i said i'd stop being fucked up all the time but look, i'm already drunk tonight i know i promised within one year i'd be fine but what's the harm in just one more night
2.
Alarm 02:31
well here we go again, you're playing this stupid game seems you've been losing since forever another tantrum waiting for the train i really thought you'd break your record well here we go again, you hit yourself in the face just like you promised you would never don't you think it's just a little strange that you still ain't learned any better 'cause it's always been your fault you can't just keep on doing this have you any shame at all yes, i know everything you won't admit so don't try to shut me off 'cause i am just what you deserve i'll say anything you want but this is all that you have earned well here we go again, it's worse than you have ever felt there's nothing you love more than failure you're not an angel 'cause you curse yourself it never changes your behavior but you know what you have done so i don't wanna hear you whine no, your guilt is not enough you're not getting away with it this time so don't try to tune me out and don't pretend you'll ever learn you'd have done it all by now but turns out happy's so much work and don't try to shut me off 'cause i am just what you deserve i'll say everything you want 'cause we both know what you are worth
3.
Square One 03:25
i shut my eyes and count to ten i recite every word the doctor sent me i've learned it well, i don't miss a beat i tell myself to let it pass i try to grant myself some understanding i land on ten, i'm still breathing i'm not one to keep score but i'm feeling like it's working more and more i think this time might be the key i shut my eyes and hold my head i can't recall a goddamn word they sent me i don't even get past number three i'm flailing but i'm sinking fast and hate myself more with each second passing they cry my name, i can't hear a thing so why should i keep score when after every win the next one's still unsure i really thought i had something but can it ever be enough when each bad day undoes a hundred good ones i never really pass square one i'm reaching but i think i'm stuck i'm searching for a cure where i know there is none so maybe i should just give up i shut my eyes and count to ten i recite every word the doctor sent me

credits

released July 6, 2023

Seth Benjamin: vocals, guitar
John Melendez: keyboard
Leo Rudberg: bass
Izzy Sollohub: drums

Featuring:
Ethan Helm: alto saxophone, soprano saxophone on "One More Night"

Written and produced by Seth Benjamin
Engineered by Josh Liebman at moon studios, and by Seth wherever he could
Mixed by Miles Stenhouse
Mastered by Elaine Rasnake at Daughterboard Audio
Artwork by M. Lin-Bronner

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Seth Benjamin & the Philistines Brooklyn, New York

Seth Benjamin & the Philistines are an alt-rock band from Brooklyn. Their songs have been called "catchy and sad."

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